Perspectives…”Wake up Call” - January 23, 2011

God sends me clear reminders sometimes of why I am here.  The role of mom is not part-time, right?  Here it is Sunday morning around 7am.  Yes, I am sleeping in; after a full week, Raymond is still sick, better, but still coughing up lots of gunk.  So we knew last night that we would not be going to church.  Little Roman (Romi to not get him confused with my husband Roman III) had a friend stay the night, and we were all up a little late. I was so comfy in bed and wanted to take advantage of the day available to sleep in, they don’t come very often.  Then, I hear Raymond starting to stir and moan.  The moaning means that he either needs to go potty or he already has and needs a diaper change.  I had a selfish moment, “Raymond…couldn’t you have let me sleep in a little more?” But as he moans again, it hit me, and hit me hard.  I put myself in Raymond’s shoes…..I imagined myself in a body that does not do what my brain is telling it to do, I imagined myself laying in bed, needing to go to the bathroom, but being completely dependent on someone coming in to get me out of bed so I can go.  I could see myself as Raymond at that moment, completely at the mercies of those taking care of him, every physical need, from being placed into his wheelchair, getting fed through his G-tube, to cleaning buggers, wiping his mouth of drool, every need he needs the help of someone else.  Even when Raymond plays with toys, he needs hand-over-hand to be able to hold and manipulate the toys.  Imagine being completely dependent on someone else??? 

That selfish moment was over quick, thank you Lord.  So up out of bed I got, and into Raymond’s room.  He greeting me with one of his cute little smiles, I moved his legs and arms so he could get big stretch.  He needed to go potty, so on the potty chair he went and into the bathroom to do his business.  Once he was finished, I cleaned him up and carried him to the couch for a little cuddle time.  He looked at me with his beautifully expressive eyes, like he was saying “thank you mommy”.  I gave him a kiss on his nose and said “I love you bud”….oops, he can’t hear me yet.  I grabbed his Cochlear Implant and put it on him, turned up the volume, then said it again….”I love you bud.”  His smile said it all, that smile spoke thanksgiving and love.  Raymond’s smile makes it all worth it; it is warming to my tired soul.

I found this from 1 John 4:17-18: “But whoever has this world’s goods, and sees his brother in need, and shuts up his heart from him, how does the love of God abide in him?  My little children, let us not love in word or in tongue, but in deed and in truth.”

Thank you Raymond, for giving me another lesson on pure, unselfish, unconditional love.

Mom